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N O

by Emanuel Ayvas

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1.
I watched a man kill another man on camera. Talked calmly of it sitting at my table. Moved from talk of a television show To the terror that was thrown upon our screens. What have we won to know as one, to watch, discuss, and rerun; Re-watch, discuss again, defend, or take to trying while we Watch a man kill another man on camera, Watch his family fall to pieces like a scene That we watch on the television shows That are all my people ever choose to see. What has to be to take our feeling from our entertainment? What will we be when all we need is somebody dying? Everywhere they howl like a chorus, Everything titties, guns and lawyers. If titties, guns, and lawyers are all we ever see, Then titties, guns, and lawyers are all we'll ever be.
2.
With my hands in my pockets I go out into the day, Wondering fortunately, With my belly well at peace And nothing real to complain of, With the all within my reach And every thought that you can think of In my fingers telling me That there is no more love, There is no more love, There is no more love Left for anyone these days. And there is no more time, There is only trying, With the endless choices How to make it all worthwhile. And there is no more love. So I think of the days Not so far from where we stand, Of a person walking homeward, Something beautiful in hand That they saved up for days And then picked from what was there. Now you think of anything And within seconds it appears And there is no more love, There is no more love, There is no more holding On to anything these days. And there are only lives That we hopeful try, But without really finding What it means to be someone. And there is no more love. We, the easily recorded Tell our stories, making waves Of the hopes to which we're going. We, the age that beyond golden, When recorded in the next Will be the focus of their aim. So you have to know that There is no more love. There is no more love, There is no more love Left for anyone these days. And there is no more time, There are only minds And believe me I'm Not the only one Trying to fight for mine.
3.
And when the day becomes, I rise and clear my lungs And move until I find my just because. Standing in my underwear for a half an hour just for one Picture of the way the morning's coming through my window. And she's beside me with her 5D, smiling And no one's even speaking just because we're in love, Hopefully one day with each other or one day with some Respective other, but for now it's just the sun And how familiar places become one with it. I like driving with no plan or reason And when I was a little bit younger to simply do that was so much easier. But I have this friend who is a poet and he believes that I shouldn't say that Just because, when Whitman was my age he'd barely started And then I argue how who started what I'm doing All were done and timeless long before where I am was what he was. And so I walk, take my time, go back to the words That we'd spoke, and though I'm almost where I had seen that I'd be It is not exactly the way that I dreamed, but the sun has a way Of taking that which you've seen and making what has been Into something I'd never thought that I'd be And what was now seems, so very different as we Walk together hand in hand, Talking(thinking) how each step so carefully planned Could within seconds send us face first falling To the concrete crawling And god Damn! My perfect plan! All that I thought that I am Could in just a moment fall and shatter Into completely different fragments As we both shiver, fingers clasping, Thinking how'd we'd both, so savage, Acted like we knew a damn thing When actually all that we have, All that we can, All will remain and change at one small stroke of the sun's hand.
4.
Neo Impressionists On a church piano In the far corner  Of the carpeted hall. Lyre is the mouth Letting into the rafters A thousand pictures  From a house where evening Never left the blankets  And the plums in the ice box Fed like fish and bread On a mount, as a service Partial only to halves Where tearing carried Itself further tearing Into the depths of Two mirrors facing Blue and hazel.  Rainbow in a room In a paper through the  Belly of a gusting April Sounding off its freckle  Back blue jays  Snatching bits of crap along the Green and white checkered Metal linked fence woven Aluminum, shaken into cover As an oboe from behind it, From a room, or a bassoon, tangles with The call of the hiding columns  Through shivering light turned many Rolled bellies twitching into table And fingers and paper and music

about

About half of this album was originally released only on Bandcamp and Soundcloud as a demo on April 9th 2017. This collection of songs is old but feels eerily appropriate now 3-5 years after they were written. I've added another more recent track (the last) to the mix that I stayed up all last night making (6/17/20), deciding that this is how I'd like to start my solo body of work. I'm excited to share a lot more soon. To those of you who've been listening, Thank You, it means more to me than you know.

credits

released June 18, 2020

All music and lyrics written and performed by Emanuel Ayvas.

Music recorded by Emanuel Ayvas and by Ted Young in Brooklyn NY.
Mixed and Mastered by Emanuel Ayvas.

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Emanuel Ayvas New York

Emanuel Ayvas is a composer/songwriter/multi-instrumentalist. He also leads the bands Emanuel and the Fear, Pale Ramon, and Ayvas and Baller.

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